Recently I reread parts of Carol Dweck’s inspiring book Mindset. It was in part to gather information for a workshop I am researching (more about this in a future note). It is not often that you find a book that links together ideas found in other books dealing with completely different topics.
Again and again I find that I return to the idea of two different mindsets, a learning mindset and a growth mindset, to understand what my clients are experiencing and to begin to shift them in order to accomplish their goals.
People with a fixed mindset approach puzzles differently than those with a learning mindset. This is well illustrated in Dweck’s book with four-year-olds. Have you ever played “Words With Friends”? This amazingly addictive interactive game (just ask Alec Baldwin) is one of the ways that I stay in contact with two good friends, let’s call them Miriam and Clarice. They are both fabulous at the game and beat me regularly. With a more fixed mindset I might have given up after the first or second drubbing. However, I knew that I could improve and now have started beating Miriam and giving Clarice a real game. I knew it was just a matter of practice. Rather than laugh at my inadequacy both friends praised my effort and this also helped.
A trivial example, perhaps, yet I find that it illustrates how so many with a fixed mindset approach work and life challenges. If we only look for praise or validation – as people with a fixed mindset do – we are more likely to stay in the safety of our comfort zone, and not venture out to new fields, new relationships, or new opportunities. If we are willing to learn when we come up short rather than defend our egos and self-image, we are more likely to break new ground, create additional opportunities and begin new ventures.
Now, did I always have a learning mindset? Not by a long shot. I remember being completely hooked on praise, in particular about my voice. When the choir teacher at my new school said I was not the best soprano in the chorus, I quit and I never went back. It was years before I sang again – something I missed terribly. I faulted the teacher, my parents for moving me from my safe school and never recognized that I could improve and learn to sing even better.
In college I learned that I needed to change my mindset during my first year – after getting mediocre grades in a number of classes. This was a stunning result for me and it jolted me into a change that has served me well ever since.
What is your mindset? How is it serving you? If you are hooked on praise and respond defensively to criticism you may tend to the fixed mindset.
And you can change that at any age.