There I was, relaxing in the whirlpool after an intense workout when I looked up and saw two twenty-somethings sitting with their legs in the water and their heads bowed over the smart phones. They were not relaxing; not noticing the warm water swirling around their legs. They were intently focused on texting or their Instagram and Facebook accounts. They were not even communicating with each other – unless it was through their phones.
I moved on to the sauna, planning to do a meditation for as long as I could sustain it because of the heat. When I walked in I was surprised to see a woman who was also bent over her phone – diligently typing away in the stifling heat. She was about my age, so the generational stereotype did not apply. I relaxed anyway and enjoyed the warmth.
As I went about my day I noticed more and more people in the same pose – arms up, heads down, typing away at their devices. It seemed like conversation had ceased, unless it was through text messages.
Now, I’m not a Luddite. I love my technology and am often an early adopter. This blog is being typed on an iPAD and I will send it to my computer over wifi, etc., etc. What I’m wondering about is how much our addiction to our devices is changing not just our conversations but us. I find myself reaching for the phone when I first awake, and it is often the last thing I handle before I go to sleep. Professor Amy Cuddy, whose highly popular TED talk on how body language affects our physiology and psychology, has postulated that frequent hunching over our devices in what is essentially a “low-power pose” may be encouraging a generation of less confident, timid people.
So, if our thinking is affected by our posture, and we spend more and more of our time in these low-power poses, could our language of conversation also change? Could increased timidity and self-doubt be increasing in how we speak to each other? Perhaps this is what makes it easier to communicate via text and email than through our voices. Perhaps these devices shield and protect our fragile selves as well.
I’m not joining the chorus that says we are not connecting with each other because we are so easily able to share information over electronic means. There is scientific evidence that most of communication is not through our words, but through our tone, facial expressions and body language. When we eliminate these and add the potential downshifting of our confidence, who knows what may actually be communicated?
It is so hard to leave our devices to the side. We have become addicted to the immediate awareness of information and, frankly, the sensory overload that comes with being bombarded by news and information 24/7.
I’m experimenting on myself, taking several breaks during the day when the devices are silenced and when I take time to be present and aware of my surroundings or truly be with other people. The whirlpool and sauna are far more enjoyable when I don’t think about what information or calls I may be missing, or what tasks remain on my daily to-do list. It does not take much, twenty minutes at a time. I’m already feeling a lot more relaxed and confident during the rest of my day as a result.
What break can you take to allow yourself to be present and grow?